Comfort
by windwhisprer
Summary: 39, ST9, 1 of 2:: Goku seeks comfort from the two men he loves. Figures they would be the two that can't give it to him.


**A/N: **Yo! This is a fic that I came up with. I like the way it came out. It is unedited, so any and all mistakes are my own.

C&C appreciated.

**Comfort**

Goku waited, and listened. He strained his ears, keeping his eyes perfectly closed and his breathing deep in the hopes that he could convince everyone in the room that he was asleep. However, he didn't hear any sounds that indicated anyone was awake. Slowly, Goku peeled open his eyes, waiting once more. Hakkai, Gojyo and Sanzo were sound asleep in the other three beds in the room. Goku usually liked to do this only when he was rooming by himself or with Gojyo, since the man slept like the dead, but it had been too long. It had felt like forever since Goku had heard his voice, and so he pushed back the blankets, pressing his feet to the cool, hardwood floor.

He glanced around the room, looking at the sleeping forms of his friends before he dared to get to his feet. He silently made his way across the room towards the door. He hoped he was as quiet as he wished he was, since they had all trained themselves to wake up in an instant to fight off assassins in a moment's notice. He made his way to the door, but a creak caught Sanzo's attention.

The monk bolted upright, his gun trained on Goku. However, it took Goku a moment to realize that Sanzo's eyes were barely open, and he was still half-asleep. He breathed a sigh of relief.

"Sanzo?" Goku whispered loudly, not wanting to wake his other friends. "It's me. I'm just going to the bathroom."

The monk made an exhausted noise at the back of his throat before he laid back down, tucking the gun under his pillow before he quickly drifted back to sleep. Goku breathed out, grabbing his shoes before slipping out into the hallway. He let his eyes remain closed for a moment before he turned and began to stroll away from the door, feeling the muscles in his shoulders loosening the farther away from them he got.

_"It's been far too long, Goku," _a voice began to rumble from the back of his mind. _"You've been neglecting me." _

Goku let a smile catch on his lips at the deep, purring voice as it began to take form. Goku kept his eyes open as he made his way down the stairs and out the front of the inn. He let the night's breeze wash over him as he let out a sigh. "Have not," he responded to the demon aloud as he began to head out towards the edge of town. Trees always calmed him, and being in a rural setting always made him feel more like he was home. "You know that," the teenager added.

He could hear the demon in his mind rumbling, as though stirring. _"I've been... bored," _he growled.

It had been a couple of months since the demon in the back of Goku's mind broke through the barrier that had separated them for over five hundred years. The last time Goku had lost his limiter, the demon came through, stronger than ever. After, when Sanzo left, Goku had felt so lonely without the light of his sun. That was when Goku's other half had broken through and comforted him, like a lover he never knew. The demon had told Goku that he didn't have a name, but Goku had decided to call him Seiten Taisei, simply because, that was what he was. The Great Sage Equalling Heaven. It fit.

Even after Sanzo had come back to them, Goku couldn't shake the bond that he had with the demon. They were two halves of the same whole, really. It made Goku feel complete knowing that he always had someone there who cared for, and loved him dearly. Goku had grown attached to Seiten in the short time they had spent together. Well, that Goku knew of him.

Goku smiled as he began to walk aimlessly out into the maze of trees. "I know. I'm sorry, Seiten," he said. As Goku closed his eyes, he caught sight of the demon in his mind's eye. Long, feral hair and golden eyes slit like a cat's. It sent a shudder up his spine, not for the first time.

The first time he'd been turned on by his other self, he'd been more than a little surprised. However, he had been even more surprised when Seiten had taken control of his hands. It had easily been the best orgasm he'd ever had.

_"Do not ignore me, Goku. For you belong to me. I will not tolerate you forgetting that I am back here," _Seiten told him with a rumble and Goku felt ghostly arms wrap around his torso. Seiten could manipulate his nerves to make it feel as though he was really right behind him, holding him close.

Goku paused in his walking, keeping his eyes closed as he felt those arms wrapped tightly around him. He felt a longing in his chest, stronger than he'd ever felt before, for those arms to be really there. He wished he could turn around and clutch at Seiten, feel him really there beneath his hands instead of simply an illusion.

_"I know," _was all that Seiten said softly from the back of his mind.

Goku didn't ask. He knew that it was impossible to hide anything from the demon. He simply relaxed back into that ghostly hold, feeling his chest tighten with emotion. Seiten was always there, yet Goku would give anything just to hold him in his arms. He felt so damn alone.

"Goddamnit, you stupid monkey!" a voice shouted from behind him that was very familiar.

Goku's eyes opened as he turned to face the monk that was storming out after him. Goku could feel his heavy heart sitting like a weight in his chest, and he really didn't need Sanzo yelling at him about how stupid he was at that moment. Still, he placed on a half-assed smile. Seiten was eerily silent.

Sanzo's cheeks were slightly flushed when he caught up with him. "Fucking liar," Sanzo snapped briskly as he stopped next to the other boy. "Going to the bathroom, eh? Get your ass back to bed or I'll leave you behind."

Goku wasn't really sure what happened next. All he knew was his need for basic comfort, and he sprang forwards wrapping his arms around Sanzo's waist and pulling the monk close to him. He buried his face in Sanzo's robes, not wanting to see the look of pure outrage he was sure that was staining the monk's features. For just one second, Goku wanted to feel like he was mattered; loved. He wanted to be able to wrap his hands around something solid and hold someone, even if that was all he got.

"Goku?"

_"Goku..." _

Both voices came at him at the same time, creating a strange sort of blend that made his heart ache. However, as Sanzo called his name in confusion, Seiten already understood.

"I'm sorry," he said to both men as he slowly pulled out of Sanzo's hold, trying to hide the almost painful need for comfort as he turned to go back inside. Sanzo reached out then, tangling his fingers in Goku's hair. Goku paused, looking at the obvious discomfort written across Sanzo's face. It was as though Sanzo was trying to help, he just wasn't sure how.

Goku cracked a small smile, looking up at the man that meant the world to him. "Let's go inside, Sanzo," he said quietly. "It's chilly."

Sanzo said nothing, simply nodding as the pair moved to go back inside. Goku stared down on the grass as he walked, feeling ridiculous. He was in love with two men who couldn't offer him comfort. One because he didn't have a body of his own and the other because he was too afraid of what would happen if he did.

Still, Goku didn't mind, because he knew that both men loved him more than anything, even if they couldn't show it.


End file.
